Val listenedwithout judging me, her arms embracing my body like she has known mefor years.We slowly walked back to the office. Our last hour together had beenthe first time I had ever shared my inner soul with someone and itmade me feel free to be accepted by such a beautiful person.I made my way back to my office. My life of sneaking about in femaleclothing flashed in front of my eyes. Almost getting caught so manytimes and the few times I did. How I tried to explain, there were noconclusive excuses other than, I like to wear females clothes, theyare nicer than mine.I feel the weight of my femininity on my shoulders now. What is Valthinking? I just told her a ton of information that must seem veryweird to her. The weird thing is that she doesn't find it weird. Isshe going to blackmail me? Why be nice to me. I am her boss, but thatdoesn't mean much. Is she really trying to be my friend?All these question bounced through my head as I drove home, ate andtried to fall asleep.Bzzzz.. "In everything she's said, she never mentioned anything that sounded at all like a manic episode..." It could be her first. You aren't born bipolar. She may have had a series of depressive episodes, culminating with her suicide attempt earlier. She could be finishing a swing through to mania now..." Damn it, Jake. I'm the one who's supposed to be the ship therapist..." She sounded mad at herself. "I knew I was getting too close to her for objectivity. I was just so fucking grateful I didn't have to deal with suicidal depression for more than one day." So what do we do?" I asked, unhelpfully."Lithium or Seroquel, only we can't do that until Hawaii – tomorrow – and we'll have to get her into treatment, which she may not want to do. I'm sure she's feeling 'just great' right now. It's a lot easier to start treatment on your way down." Will she be alright tonight?" Let's talk to Gary. I really don't want her doing something stupid..." I could slip her a Mickey," I offered. "Just something.
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